To Tattoo, or Not to Tattoo?

Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you the same thing: I am not a tattoo girl.  Sure, I played around with temp tattoos when I was a child, putting them on with a damp sponge or cloth, as per the instructions.  But, the last couple times I did that, I remember wanting to get the temp off of me asap, going insofar as using rubbing alcohol to get it off, only to leave my skin pink and sensitive.  I’m the girl who has never done anything permanent to her body with the exception of getting her ears pierced once.  I could never have been okay with having multiple holes on my ears, and aside from that, the only other thing I had ever thought about doing was a belly ring.  I didn’t do that because I have a birthmark slightly above my belly button, and felt that that was decoration enough for me, and I am completely happy with my decision.

So, back to tattoos.  Other than the fact that they are permanent, and removing them is a painfully long and expensive process, another reason that has always stopped me from getting tattoos (other than just not liking most of them) is the needles.  I have a fear of needles.  When I was younger, my mother would take me to the doctor for a checkup, and when it got to the point where they would administer my yearly shots, I would run away, literally.  I would run out of the room as fast as my little legs could carry me.  I would run under the nurse’s desk and reception.  I would just run.  Of course, eventually I would be found, picked up and taken back into the room to get my shots, but I wouldn’t be happy about it.  Today I no longer run away from doctors, but I do always almost pass out while getting a needle or when having blood drawn.  I wish I wasn’t so squeamish, and I know that it is a mind-over-matter thing, but at my age, I still have not been able to master this.  I even have sat in while other people were getting tattoos, and got the same feeling in the pit of my stomach and had to turn away.  It’s kind of embarrassing, but I always warn people ahead of time.  Blood and needles are soooo not my thing. 

Why am I considering a tattoo all of a sudden?  Don’t worry, it’s not because I’m going through a mid-life crisis: I’m way too young for that!  I guess it is more of a, if you see something that you really like, then you allow yourself the possibility of changing your beliefs for this one exception.  I am a firm believer that nothing is written in stone, and that just because I’ve said for years that I dislike something doesn’t mean that I am never going to change my mind about it.  My friend Melissa and I were talking about this last week.  We both have been thinking about getting the same tattoo, in the same place.  We have a couple of reasons for this: we think that the area that we are considering is sexy and we both really love the symbol not just for the physicality of it, but also for its meaning: perfection, equilibrium, long lasting friendship or relationship.  Melissa and I both think that is beautiful.

Instead of running to the first tattoo parlor that we see, because I have been a non-tattooer for as long as I can remember, I went onto Amazon last week, found the symbol that we want and ordered it for us to try on together, as a sort of test run for the real thing – if we happen to do it.  The temp tattoos are a bit bigger than either of us would like to have – if we do decide to go permanent they would be significantly smaller – but I think that they are a great way to see if we really are willing to do this.  I think that I definitely am, but as I said before, I always hesitate to do anything permanent to my body, so I will wait and see.  When you have a bff who is as good to you as mine is, sometimes you end up doing things that you would never expect yourself to do…and have a blast while doing it.

Vitamin C Facial Radiance Capsules

On my most recent trip to The Body Shop, I was in search of a facial serum that had an extra boost of moisturizer. With the impending winter upon us, I know my skin looses moisture. I’ve tried all different things, even slathering a little vaseline on dry areas. Vaseline works, only I have always been afraid that using it too much on my face would be more detrimental than good – after all, it seals in the skin and doesn’t allow it to breathe, so for as much good as it does, I think using vaseline on the face is only a once in a while option.

Hence, The Body Shop. Of course, before going I had done a little research. I was torn between a normal serum, and one in the form of capsules. After speaking with a sales associate there, I was convinced that the capsules were for me. They ensured an exact dosage so as not to put on too much at one time, they were more concentrated in vitamin c so they would be more efficient, and they were capsules which I thought was cute. So, I bought them: Vitamin C Facial Radiance Capsules.

The way to use this product, is after showering and under your normal moisturizer; they’re supposed to act as an extra moisturizer, and also draw yours into your skin more. The first night that I used the capsules, I was in love. They did exactly what I was told they would; made my face velvety smooth…and I saw a little glow too.

I used the product two more nights in a row, obsessed with getting that velvety smooth feeling again and again, but I, who hardly ever breaks out, ended up with two visible pimples. Defeated, I retired the capsules for a few weeks, not knowing what to do with them. Then, Sunday I had a brilliant idea: I could still use them, just not multiple days in a row, and a bit sparingly.

I know my skin. Yes, it sometimes needs a little extra moisturizer, but there’s only so much concentration of a good thing it can take at once. The Body Shop’s Vitamin C Facial Radiance Capsules are amazing, but you need to know how much or how little your skin can take of them at a time. But one thing you will always get, is the velvety smoothness. Well worth the trials of calculating the percentage of use you need.

Lois Lowry’s The Giver

From the moment I started Lois Lowry’s dystopian novel The Giver, I knew that it would be one of those books that stays with you long after the final pages have been read.  In some ways, the story is timeless – kids riding bicycles and playing in the yard together after school, families sharing meals and talking about their problems – but it’s not long before you realize that things are a bit off (a lot off actually).  And, as you get deeper and deeper, more things come to the surface.  Things that, once learned, can never be un-learned; things that have the power to change not only the lives of the two people who actually understand what is going on, but the lives of everyone in the Community as well.

The Giver tells the story of Jonas, a young boy who lives in a village, referred to as the Community, with his father, mother and sister Lily.  Every afternoon he plays with his friends, among them are Asher and Fiona.  Jonas and his friends are elevens, awaiting twelve, which is a very important age in the Community.  When you become a twelve, your life starts to change.  You are given an assignment of which, after an apprenticeship, will become your job.  The assignments are given out to the new twelves in a yearly ceremony after all the younger children have already been promoted.  That’s the way it works in the Community.  Many of the assignments are odd, which are explained away as being part of the rules (everything is part of the rules).  There are birth mothers – no one has their own children.  Couples apply to the elders for children and, once approved, are given one.  There are the nurturers (Jonas’ father is a nurturer), who take care of the babies (newchildren) until they are ones.  They are then given names (also in the yearly ceremony) and presented to a family unit.  Another assignment is to be a caretaker at the house of the old, where all the people go when they get older, before they are released from the community.

When the ceremony of the twelves takes place, Jonas is skipped.  He becomes increasingly nervous, as does everyone else, who, as we later find out, go out of their way to avoid feeling discomfort (it’s part of the rules).  After the last assignment is given, the chief elder turns her attention onto Jonas, calling him to the stage, explaining that he is the most honored of the new twelves; he hasn’t been assigned, he’s been selected.  He’ll be the new Receiver of Memories, considered to be the highest position.  The current Receiver will now become the Giver, as he is giving his memories to Jonas.

What does the position of Receiver of Memories entail?  It’s not exactly what you think.  Jonas receives memories of the world, memories that go “back and back and back” as far back as can be remembered.  It is through Jonas’ sessions with the Giver that we come to realize just how strict the Community really is, and their policy of Sameness.  The thing that struck me the most (okay, there were two things), was that there was no color.  Under Sameness, color (among many other things) was eliminated.  The Giver is the only one who can see color, and he passes it on to Jonas, who cannot for the life of him fathom why such a thing was taken away from them in the first place.  The other thing that really got to me (and Jonas), in a scene that breaks your heart, is when Jonas finds out the truth about the Release ceremonies.  It’s when he really begins to understand just how destructive the Community is.

The conclusion of The Giver did not leave me with feelings of content.  I was prepared for more of a resolution, but, then I thought about it for a few minutes and realized that it was the best possible ending to the story.  The Giver really is a brilliant, well-written novel, which reminds me a lot of Kazuro Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go (btw, I am in love with Ishiguro’s work), which is brilliant as well.  They have many differences, but at their cores, they are quiet similar.  Never Let Me Go is also a dystopian novel, so, maybe I just happened to like those.  I leave you with a quote!
 

“Always in the dream, it seemed as if there was a destination: a something – he could not grasp what – that lay beyond the place where the thickness of snow brought the shed to a stop.  He was left, upon awakening, with the feeling that he wanted, even somehow needed, to reach the something that waited in the distance.  The feeling that it was good.  That it was welcoming.  That it was significant.  But he did not know how to get there.”

Lauren Weisberger’s Chasing Harry Winston

Although not a favorite among critics, I found Lauren Weisberger’s Chasing Harry Winston to be highly entertaining and fun.  It tells the story of three best friends, Emmy, Adriana and Leigh, who, on the verge of turning thirty create a pact (bet?) to drastically change their lives.  Emmy vows to do away with serial monogamy and play the field a bit.  Adriana decides to mend her boy-hopping ways and settle into a full-fledged relationship.  Leigh chooses not to do anything at first because her life seems perfect, but as the story progresses we see that that may not be the case after all.

The story unfolds as Emmy, who thinks that her longtime boyfriend is about to propose to her, gets dumped, while Leigh’s boyfriend, Russell, proposes unexpectedly.  Emmy is heartbroken because, despite her ex’s cheating ways – something that she overlooked – she was optimistic that they were going to last.  She tries to be happy for Leigh, but she can’t help but feel sad.  Emmy end up taking a job that requires her to do quite a bit of globe-trotting, as a means to get away and stay busy.  I think that her decision to play the field stems from a few things (heartbreak, Leigh’s engagement, etc), but it ultimately turns out to be the best thing she ever does, because it allows her to gain control over her life and date/define relationships on her terms instead of just going along with whatever the guy thinks.  In the end it pays off by giving her the confidence that she had been lacking; the one thing that will get her exactly what she wants.

Confidence is not something that Adriana is in need of; in fact, at times one could say that she may have too much confidence, if there is such a thing.  She lives a carefree, pampered life due to the fact that her parents have a ton of money.  Her decision to settle down – or at least attempt to – partially stems from Emmy’s situation (what better way to encourage your friend to change her lifestyle than by changing your own as well?) and partially because, although she does love her life, I think that she was a bit bored with all of it.  She needed to add a bit of depth.  For her, monogamy was a challenge.  She had no problem getting a guy, the question is, would she keep him?

And then there’s Leigh.  Throughout the novel, Leigh experiences a bit of emotional turmoil.  On paper, her life is perfect.  She’s an editor at a major trade publishing house, and she is engaged to one of the city’s most eligible bachelors, but something is off.  She doesn’t feel the spark that you’re supposed to feel when you’re in love, but Russell is perfect on paper (and to everybody in her life), so she stays with him.  It’s not until Leigh is introduced to Jessie, her new client, and starts traveling to his Hamptons’ home on the weekends to edit his new novel, that she lets these feelings of uncertainty with Russell come to the surface, and starts to explore the idea of not being with him.

Chasing Harry Winston is good for anyone who is in the mood for a really fun, girly read.  I think the parts about Emmy are particularly entertaining, as she is the only character who puts a name on her year of boy-hopping, appropriately called “Tour de Whore” (how awesome is that?!).  The characters of Adriana and Leigh are great too.  All in all, this is a great book that I did not want to put down.  I was able to read it in less than a week.

Emily Giffin’s Love the One You’re With

In Emily Giffin’s Love the One You’re With, she explores the idea about what could happen if the one who got away resurfaced.  How would you react to the situation?  Would you let that person back into your life, or would you close yourself off and run in the other direction?  The answer seems like it should be black and white, especially if you’re in a place in your life where you are happy, but for Ellen, it is the hardest decision that she has ever had to make.  It had been almost ten years since she had laid eyes on him, but one fateful night, on a rainy NYC street corner, she runs into Leo and her life as she knows it may never be the same.

Ellen is a freelance photographer, something that she loves, and her husband, Andy, is a lawyer, working for a large firm and hating every minute of it.  Andy’s sister Margot is Ellen’s best friend, and the reason why she and Andy got together in the first place.  Ellen and Margot met when they were freshman in college and, as luck would have it, roommates.  They would go on to room together throughout their college careers, and then again when Margot decided to move to NY and take Ellen with her.  Naturally, when Ellen and Andy began dating, Margot was thrilled, especially when comparing Andy to Ellen’s last love, Leo.  Andy was everything that Leo wasn’t.  He was sweet and courteous, he didn’t think that the world revolved around him, and he was interested in what Ellen was doing and what she had to say.  All in all, they were a perfect fit, creating a good life with each other…until Leo came back into the picture.

When Ellen runs into Leo on the street corner, her first instinct is to run away, but she finds that she cannot contain her curiosity as to what he has been up to and if he’s still the same person that she once knew.  Leo offers her the job of a lifetime, which Ellen turns down, only to be offered the same job through her agent not soon after.  Ellen travels to LA with her sister Suzanne – the only person that she has told about Leo – for her photo shoot, and is surprised when none other than Leo is there.  This sets off a chain of events – one of which being that she and Andy move to Atlanta to be closer to his family and so he can work with his father in the family business – that leads Ellen to make the decision of her life.  Will she stay with her husband despite the not-so-idyllic new city they live in, or will she go back to the one who broke her heart?

Love the One You’re With is a tale about a woman in a crossroads of her life, and the way that she goes about dealing with the situation.  One may not agree with how she handles things, but, if you were put into a similar situation, would you not at least contemplate doing the same?  I love this story because it shows that we’re all just human, we all have faults and weaknesses, some of which – in Ellen’s case – may be stronger than others, but at the end of the day, we make the right choices (one would hope) for our lives, as Ellen does with hers.  I leave you with a quote!
 

“Sometimes there are no happy endings.  No matter what, I’ll be losing something, someone….But maybe that’s what it all comes down to.  Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way.  And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.”

A.S.A. Harrison’s The Silent Wife

Referred to as this year’s Gone Girl, of which I cannot draw comparison seeing as how I’ve never read the former, A.S.A. Harrison’s The Silent Wife is anything but your ordinary thriller.  Told in an alternating duel narrative with chapters labeled “him” and “her,” the reader is thrown into the deteriorating relationship of Todd and Jodi: Todd is a serial cheater and Jodi lives mostly in denial.  We are told that Todd becomes the victim of a murder.  We are also told that Jodi is the one who kills him.  We know the end, but what we don’t know are the details leading up to it, or, for that matter, the details of the murder itself…which makes for an interesting story.  With every page I turned, I found myself constantly trying to put the pieces together, but it was not until it was actually happening that I knew.

Jodi and Todd had been together for twenty years, living in a spacious two-floor condo with a waterfront view as man and wife, only they had never actually gotten married.  Todd had proposed to Jodi multiple times, but due to a fear that stemmed from her childhood, she never said yes…a fact which later on in the novel she comes to regret.  Todd owns a real estate development business, making most of the money in the household; he owns the condo that they live in and supports Jodi.  Jodi works part-time as a psychotherapist, seeing patients in her home, making up funny names for them like Miss Piggy.  Through the years that Todd and Jodi have been together, Todd has strayed for the occasional affair but he has always come back.  Jodi has been aware of these, but since she seeks to avoid confrontation at all costs, has never brought up her knowledge to him (although Todd knows that she knows), instead choosing to punish him in different ways, as we are witness to one of these in the beginning of the novel.  Todd’s newest affair however, turns out to be the beginning of the end for him and Jodi, when Natasha, a young twenty-something devises a way to keep Todd in her life for good: she becomes pregnant.

The situation wouldn’t have become as complicated as it did if Natasha wasn’t the daughter of Todd’s best friend Dean (Jodi and Todd had literally watched Natasha grow up), and if Natasha wasn’t so controlling.  While I have yet to pick out a favorite character in this novel, she is definitely not on my short list.  Natasha is an instigator, constantly demanding things of Todd, the first and foremost of which is to marry her and pay for an expensive wedding complete with couture brides-maid gowns. I love fashion, but one has to ask the question, is that really necessary?  I think not.  Had Todd lived (because we know that he doesn’t live happily-ever-after), could Natasha have been exactly what he needed to settle down for good?  Probably not.  As the novel progresses, Natasha becomes more and more unreasonable, and I think that it was only a matter of time before he would start another affair and go back to Jodi.

Aside from a slow beginning, and a few awkwardly written sessions of Jodi with a therapist she had to see as part of her training (and I say awkwardly written because it’s structured like dialogue in a play, which seems a bit off-putting for a novel…at least to me), A.S.A. Harrison’s The Silent Wife will have you guessing until the very end.

Dîner en Blanc

Last night, I was having drinks in Bryant Park when suddenly, a sea of people dressed all in white took over the park.  My friends and I couldn’t help but stare in wonder and a little bit of envy, wanting to know what exactly was going on, and at the same time, wishing that we were a part of it.   It felt like it had come straight out of a movie, perhaps a Gatsby related event even.  Whatever it was, I was determined to find out: I needed to know.  My opportunity arose when, upon entering the ladies room, I saw one of those such white-clad people fixing her makeup.  She was happy to share the much coveted information with me.  The name of the event: Dîner en Blanc.

I had never heard of this event and immediately took to googling.  Dîner en Blanc is relatively new to New York, as this was only the third annual event held here.  It originated in Paris twenty-five years ago, by François Pasquier, who, having just returned home after living abroad for a few years, decided to throw a dinner party with all of his friends.  Each of his friends brought a friend, and everyone wore white.  Thus, Dîner en Blanc was created.

Dîner en Blanc is highly exclusive.  To be able to participate one must either receive an invite, or be randomly selected from their waiting list.   The events are held in public places that are usually crowded and were not meant to host this type of thing.  The locations are not disclosed until thirty minutes prior to the start of the festivities, then guests scramble from their designated meeting places in order to get there and set up.  Everyone is dressed head-to-toe in white, bringing with them everything that they will need: a table, two white folding chairs, a white table cloth, a picnic basket with food and tableware.

Last night, four thousand people were at Bryant Park for Dîner en Blanc.  Four thousand.  When I described it as a sea of people, I was not exaggerating.  I put myself on the waiting list and hopefully will be one of those people next year.

Piper Kerman’s Orange Is the New Black

After being introduced to the series airing on Netflix by a friend, and subsequently watching all of season one, I found myself wanting to know more of the story.  I did a little googling, and found out that it was based on the memoir Orange Is the New Black by Piper Kerman, who served thirteen months of a fifteen-month sentence for a nine-year old drug offense in which she traveled with a suitcase full of money.  If it had been one year later, her case would have been thrown out of court, a fact that we are made aware of both in the memoir and the series.

There was a slight bit of hesitation on my part, on whether or not to purchase the memoir, because I didn’t want to spoil season two, but almost instantly after I started reading it, I realized that that was not going to be the case.  Although the premise in the series runs true to the memoir, there are quite a few differences between the two.

The memoir tells the story of Piper’s experiences at a minimum security prison in Danbury, Connecticut.  While serving time, Piper works in electric and then later in construction, after she was sexually harassed by the prison staff member who was in charge of the electricity department.  She seems to be allowed some freedoms, because she is constantly running on the track.  At times you can almost forget that they are in prison because of such things as that, but that doesn’t last long.  Piper has a ton of support from the outside world, with people all over the country – some she even had never met – sending her books and letters, and visiting her.  Her fiancé Larry makes a point to drive up from New York and visit her once a week.  All of her visits seemed to be pleasant and lasted longer than what I had imagined they would (multiple hours).  At the end of the visits, after the visitors had all left, Piper and the other inmates were forced to strip, even going as far as having to squat and cough to make sure that nothing had been smuggled into the facilities.

Piper did not serve any time with her former girlfriend and ex-drug trafficker, Nora (Alex) while she was at Danbury, of which she was there for eleven months.  For the last two months of her sentence, she boarded Con Air, en-route to Chicago as a star witness for the government against a man who was higher up in the drug smuggling business than she had been; she had never met the guy and didn’t know who he was.  It was there that she ran into Nora and her sister, en-route to the same destination, for the same trial, except that Nora and her sister had actually known who this man was.  At first Piper refused to speak to them, even being seated next to Nora on a long flight without breaking their awkward silence.  Eventually, they become friendly for a little while, until Nora departs on her way back to what we can only assume is the prison where she has been serving her time.

A lot of Piper’s time in prison seems a bit mundane to me.  Perhaps this is because of the views that society imposes upon us of what prison life is supposed to be like, or perhaps it is because the series on Netflix has a bit more drama to it; the Piper in their seems to make more enemies than friends, but in the memoir, it isn’t like that at all.  The reason why she was able to survive came partially from her contacts with the outside world, and partially from the friends that she made on the inside, the women that were service with her.  Orange Is the New Black isn’t just a story about one woman, it’s really a story about all of them, and one that I highly recommend, as I have just loaned out my copy.

Revenge (TV series)

For months, Melissa has been talking about the TV series Revenge, how she got into it with her boyfriend and then later her mother, and how, aside from it being utterly entertaining, it is also highly addicting.  I can vouch for both of those things, since I have now become an addict, but it took me a while to realize it and get passed the title, which does not bring pleasant things to mind…I had to open my mind, something that I have been starting to do more and more as of late.

I had caught part of an episode a while ago, but could not get into it at all since I had no idea of what was going on.  So, I dismissed Melissa’s offers of loaning me the first season…until last Tuesday when she brought it with her to my place.  I put it by my TV and forgot about it until she brought it up two days later over Red Mango, telling me to as least watch one episode.  On Friday, having a relaxing weekend of nothing spread before me, I decided to give Revenge a try.  I ended up watching six episodes that night and had to pry myself off of the couch…I was hooked.

For those of you that don’t know, Revenge revolves around main character Emily Thorne, who’s real identity is Amanda Clarke.  She is the daughter of David Clarke, a man who was wrongfully imprisoned for treason and later killed: a patsy.    Before he died, David Clarke put together a box of information so that his daughter would learn the truth, implicating, among many, the Graysons as having a huge part in his imprisonment; it had been their company that he had worked for.  Emily travels back to the Hamptons (where it all started) to see revenge, taking up residence at the beach house that her dad had once owned, which, coincidentally is right next door to the Grayson estate.  It is known that Victoria Grayson had had an affair with David Clarke and that she was in love with him; it is also known that she later betrayed him to save herself.

The series is labeled as an evening soap opera, and in many ways (betrayal, secrets, lies) it is, but it also resembles that of a thriller, which is why I think I like it so much (Tana French).  Behind all of the drama is a story, and although I, myself am nothing like Emily Thorne, I can’t help by root for her.  There is a vulnerability to her that she barely shows, but you can feel it bubbling underneath the surface, just waiting to explode.  Something interesting for the literaries, as I have been doing a bunch of googling in regards to this show, I found out that it was inspired by Alexandre Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo, the character of Emily being based on the main character Edmond Dantès (a female version of course).  I have not actually read this book, but I know people who have and they loved it.  It also kind of makes me want to add it to my reading list.  Season three starts at the end of the month and I plan on watching it, in the meantime, I’ll be starting season two by next week at the latest.

Visiting Red Hook Winery

This past Saturday, I dragged my boyfriend to Red Hook Winery for a private tour and barrel tasting.  It was a hot and humid day, and the walk was around twenty minutes each way.  I immediately regretted showering and putting on makeup before we left.  I showered not too long after we got home, but, to my chagrin, I spotted a pimple the next morning.

Upon our arrival, I was sad to see that it did not look exactly as I had expected – the word rustic in my head carved up a darker, cozier feel than the winery that I was presented with.  I had imagined exposed beams and brick (the urban rustic), and low, vaulted ceilings.  Instead, there were a few barrels in the center where a small group was doing a tasting, counters with a kitchen-like feel along the side, and ceilings that were neither low nor vaulted.

It took a few minutes for someone to attend to us, and my vision of the experience started to falter, but thankfully, it ended with that.  The guy who did our tasting and tour was very knowledgeable about the wines and the different processes of how they were made.  The wines that we tasted were chosen mostly to my preference, with a few others mixed in for comparisons (each time he gave us a comparison, it ended up being a wine that I didn’t care for).

After tasting seven different wines, he took us on the tour, showing us the machinery they used, explaining how the grapes went from being on the stems to being separated and crushed (sometimes with feet), to being in vats and barrels (French oak and steel).  He explained how they had faired last year after the hurricane had hit, since they are directly on the pier.  They had just finished their harvest and the wines were already in barrels, but they are not sure how those will fair and it is too early to tell.  Then, we went to the barrel room, where we tried three different wines directly from the barrels (my favorite part!).

I ended up purchasing a slightly buttery chardonnay (of which I was first introduced to the likes by Billy’s parents and now love) and a cabernet franc, although sadly, my favorite wine had to be left behind as it was sitting in a barrel.  It was a fun thing to do and I definitely plan on doing it again, but perhaps when it is a little cooler out.