Loading Yourself with Unreasonable Goals

This week I decided that I would get back into writing some posts for my blog. I hadn’t been on the site in a while, and when I logged onto it Monday morning, I found that I hadn’t posted anything since the end of December. I was shocked, and disappointed in myself. Then I took a step back and really thought about why I’ve gotten so behind. It’s not that I don’t have blogs ready to post, because I do even though I haven’t written any in a while. It’s more that I’ve been putting unreasonable goals onto myself.

Probably the best perk about working in publishing is access to books before publication. We get to read them far in advance, which, for someone (me) who has little patience when it comes to waiting for a book to come out (or waiting in general), is amazing. We jump on manuscripts as soon as they come in, compromising our preferred methods of reading (print over digital), and sometimes sleep, just to finally have it in our hands and be able to turn the pages. In the hallowed halls, we read and then rush over to our colleagues to either excitedly or upsetly discuss how much we loved or hated our newest conquest. The main characters’ joy become our joys, their fears our fears, their adventures our own. We are invested in these books: they are our world.

There is a downside to this as well though. For as excited as we get, we can only really talk about them amongst our colleagues: the outside world cannot share in our joy until the publication date. And by the time they are falling head-over-heals, as much as we’re bursting to share our thoughts with them, we’ve also already advanced to multiple favorites (hopefully) beyond them.

A second downside to this is my thinking that I need to blog about every single book that I read. Sometimes I’ll love a book and then try to force myself to write a review only to ditch it part of the way through (or all of the way) because I can’t figure out how to end it, or I don’t feel that it was written well enough. I found myself feeling like it was more of a chore than actually enjoying the process; I had lost the meaning of why I started this blog in the first place – which was because I love to write and share my thoughts. I don’t have to write about every single book I read, because let’s face it, I’m literally always reading. And that’s okay. We all have goals that we want to achieve, and that’s great, but, we have to be willing to admit when they’re unreasonable and need tweaking. For me. That’s this blog. So, with that being said, I’m going to give myself a break, breathe, and just have fun with this again. After all, we can all stand to treat ourselves a bit better at times.

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Inspiration From Your Adolescence

I don’t know what possessed me to do this, but recently, I paid homage to my youth by re-watching all six season of Dawson’s Creek. It was one of my favorite shows back in the day, and to be frank, still kind of is. One of the things that I really love about this show, is how profound it is. There will be scenes with all of this amazing dialogue that you can really take with you and use in your own life, dialogue that can change your whole way of thinking about a situation. I realize that this is also a reason why people criticized the show, that the dialogue is not how anyone speaks in real life and that it took away from the genuinity about it. In some ways, they are half true. The speech that is used, especially in the earlier seasons is a bit unrealistic, and I could see how that could confuse some people, or send others running for the dictionary, but why does that have to be a bad thing and take away the meaning of the show? If the words have the ability to change your life, I think that is a good thing.

I remember watching this show as a teenager and feeling comforted but not completely understanding why. Growing up, my home-life was not great, and I used the show as an escape, imagining myself being there, kind of like what I always did (and still do) with books. After re-watching the series, I realized that Dawson’s Creek was so much more than a get-a-way: if you let it, it actually has the power to enlighten and inspire you…as an adolescent and as an adult. It touches deep into your core, saying the things that you’re either too afraid to hear, or too afraid to say. And, although I couldn’t quite appreciate its greatness back then, I have no doubt in my mind that, on some level, I knew it was special. Dawson always said that he believed that you could find the answers to all of life’s questions in a movie. I’m not sure if that is really true, but, I think that this show succeeds in doing that in some ways.

As I was watching, I joked to Melissa that in some ways it felt like a therapy session; full of advice that (seemed) catered towards me. And, I think that, if given a chance, it can do the same thing for anyone regardless of your age. It’s one of those shows that can transcend the generation gap. The quote below is truly amazing.

“There are people in my life who are gone now. People I miss very much, and people who I am haunted by in different ways. But whether we’re separated by death or merely distance, I know that they’re still with me because I keep them in my heart. The truth is, in time, that’s all we’re going to be to each other anyway, this population of memories…some wonderful and endearing, some less so. But taken together, these memories help make us who we are and who we will be.”

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